Thursday, November 7, 2019

I’m trying...I REALLY am!

When a framed 1000+ piece puzzle that had taken 6+ people and 3 days to finish came randomly falling off the wall, I thought to myself “that’s week is officially crappy!”...and then my husband calls to tell me that he is stranded in Colombia because he lost his passport and can’t return as planned...ugh!
The puzzle debacle and the infamous phone call came on the heels of a few difficult days; I recently found out Gaby is being bullied at school yet again and is showing symptoms of anxiety, days after I had to pull Olivia out of cheer because, well, adults don't know how to adult; days after the time change that always messes me up, and unending headaches and back pain that prevent me from consistently sleeping for periods longer than three hours...
Despite the fact that I could barely function because of my headaches and lack of sleep, or that my daughter asked to be picked up early from school 3 days in a row because she couldn't deal with the bullies and I don't know how to help her,  life goes on and we gotta keep trying...
But putting on a face is not always that simple and we've gotta come to accept that sometimes it's ok to crumble; it's ok to want to sleep it off or not want to talk to anyone for a few days...
I'm trying.. I really am.. I'm trying to keep laughing when my kids tell un-funny jokes, I'm trying to stay awake when I have to help my daughter with a math lesson I don't understand, I'm trying to clean up the cat's litter box when I can barely bend over because my back hurts so much, I'm trying not to cry myself to sleep because I'm so exhausted and tired of my husband being gone so often every month...I really am trying...but I'm at my wits' end
And when I get tired of trying and feel overcome by exhaustion and defeat, I think of all the times where I have tried and succeeded, I focus on the moments when my kids are proud of me for simply trying and that makes it all worth it and it makes me want to try again and again!
So in my search for ways to fight the overwhelmingness, I came across this article from Motherly and it was very reassuring, not only because it helped me realize that I am not alone in feeling "done" sometimes, but it also gave me a few good tips on what to do when feeling like life comes out at me harder than I can handle...sometimes it really is all about breathing, moving and slowing down!!
Here's to hoping next week is better than this one! :)