Every morning when I drop off the girls at the baby sitter and school, I get teary eyed...I feel like somehow I have to abandon my children to go make a living... they stay there, content, because they know that at some point their mommy will come back and pick them up...no matter how many times I do it, I always feel like crap...I'm sure a lot of working moms feel like I do!
When I pick them up in the afternoon, after a long day of work, all I want to do is hug them and never let go and no matter how tired I am, I could play with them all day... it's a crazy feeling... I know they're in good hands, but they're not with me...which means they could do better!
I, on the other hand, don't think that I could be a "stay at home mom", although I have a high degree of admiration for those that do it... I crave adult interaction and actually enjoy my career and my job.. I feel like I have to do this for my daughters' future and my own personal sanity.... such mixed emotions...
When Gaby was born, Iggy and I discussed the possibility of me quitting my job to stay home with the girls and even though we could do it (financially speaking).. I wasn't ready to give up what I had made for myself....am I selfish for that?
I feel so torn... on one hand I'd love to spend all the time in the world with my babies...but on the other hand, I feel like I have to nurture myself to be the best mother I can be... does it make sense?
It's not easy being a working mother... it's a hard life, it's a crazy life, it's a life where a lot of sacrifices have to be made, but I certainly hope it's the best life I can have to share with the people who I love the most!