Monday, August 28, 2017

Death is "simple" but a loss is never "easy"

Last Wednesday, in the middle of an ordinary week, we lost a loved one.  I received the awful news that aunt Graciela had suddenly passed very early in the morning of August 23rd... I was shocked, sad, terrified and down in the dumps within a few short seconds when I heard that she had died of a sudden heart attack next to her husband of more than 40 years.. what an awful heartbreak. Iggy happened to be away on business so I know he took it especially hard because his aunt Graciela was very dear to him and he didn't have anyone to hug him through such pain.  
See, death is simple but a loss is never easy and the ones that stay behind are the ones who suffer the most. When a loved one dies we tend to think a lot of things, we reflect on the meaning of life, the purpose of our existence and I particularly spend time evaluating how much of my time is spent doing quality things with my loved ones or questioning how many times I tell them how much they mean to me...the answer is usually not enough times.. and I hate that.. I hate the fact that something tragic has to happen to make me realize that at times I don't give enough of myself to others, but things like this help me understand  that even the sad stuff happens for a reason. 
In the midst of her death, one of our cousins and aunt Graciela's 2nd daughter posted a beautiful picture of her and her mom and she wrote these nice words "I will soon find the words, mom. I promise you. But right now I am speechless; silence comforts me. I love you. And I am happy to have told you so a million times".  I read those words and broke down in tears... how beautiful is the fact that in the middle of such a tragic loss, a daughter can find comfort in the thought that she told her mom she loved her over and over....

Last time I saw aunt Graciela was in April; we attended the wedding of her 2nd to youngest son (she has 6 wonderful children) and she was radiant, looking beautiful and happy as ever, I am happy about that being my last memory of her.  We spent a lot of time with her and she made remarks about how dear her family was to her and how she was soaking in all the love during the time spent with 5 of her children and her 8 grandchildren (a new grandchild was born since so now it's 9 of them). She had this special vibe, a beautiful aura and contagious energy and even though we didn't get to see her often since she lived in Venezuela, she was always so special to me and I will miss her and her Instagram feed and all her happy family updates and such. 

So as "simple" as death is, we must acknowledge that a loss is never "easy" and the void that it leaves cannot be ignored.  It takes time to heal and even more time to accept that those loved ones that die are forever gone in their physical form but always present in their spiritual one. 

I will forever remember aunt Graciela as a kind and faithful woman that always made the world a better place; someone who spent their time loving her family and making a difference in everyone's lives, a woman with strong convictions and a huge heart and one whose memory will never be forgotten. 
To her husband and children, we will pray for you; please know that we feel your pain and we hope you can find comfort on the idea that she went straight to heaven and will always be with you. 

Rest in Peace, aunt Graciela! We love you very much....

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