Monday, April 28, 2014

Missing Grandma: one month later...

A little more than a month has passed since I said good bye to my dear and beloved Grandma and every day is a new stage in the metamorphosis of pain and sadness...
The pain hasn't (and will not) go away, but it keeps transforming into nostalgia, yearning, longing and similar feelings...
I now find joy when I think of her... I remember her embrace, her love, the good times we shared and I smile..sometimes I cry, but they are happy tears, or at least happier than the ones I've cried recently..
I have made a habit of looking through old photos of my Grandma and I and often roam through her Facebook profile and imagine that if I wrote her something she would read it and smile about it...that comforts me and I'm ok with this process...
The other day I thought of calling her, I felt the need to hear her voice and find friendly advice on the other side of the phone...I still haven't brought myself to delete her number so of course her name pops up in my "Favorites" every time.. I wish I could call her one more time and tell her once again how much I loved her and how special she was to me...
Not a day goes by that I don't think of her... I see her in my dreams and in everything I do.... I wish I could have one more day with her.. our memories keep her alive in my heart and I know that will always be the case.  I'm in a better place and I pray that God continues to give me the strength I need to cope with her absence.
I miss you so much, Grandma! Thank you for watching over me! I love you forever and ever!

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