Sunday, October 19, 2014

"Stay at Home Mom": one year later

Yesterday marked ONE YEAR since becoming a "Stay at Home Mom"; one year since I left my career path to dedicate myself to our children and our home, one year since I stopped bringing home a full income and ceased being that "career oriented" woman I always thought myself to be. It seems like just yesterday I was stressing out over whatever my boss said or whatever was pending by the end of the week. Just yesterday I was stuck in front of a computer finishing up reports while unknowingly (and unwillingly) spending too much precious time away from my children; whether or not I was physically present, I never really felt I could give my kids 100% attention because there was always "something", usually work related, that took precedence over whatever they wanted to tell me or do with me....
Now, I'm not by any means saying that working moms don't give their children attention, what I AM saying is that I WASN'T doing it... it's a balance I could never achieve and something that I always longed for.
So.. how did this year unfold?  How do I feel about leaving my career a year later? was this year as productive as I expected it to be? Was becoming a "stay at home mom" the right decision for our family?
Well.. so many questions and so many thoughts... While I don't regret the decision of quitting my job to stay home with the kids, I will say that it has been HARD... sometimes I feel like I'm still mourning a loss.. the loss of my autonomy and my sense of independence.. There are days when I feel lost and even though I keep myself busy (I even have a **part-time** job as a certified Google trainer- from home), there are tons of days when I feel like a "stay at home person" and an "unproductive" member of society.  My husband has been extremely supportive the whole time and he is my biggest cheerleader, always motivating me and telling me how much he appreciates everything I do. He has also been a great sport about any financial adjustment we've had to make and has been fully dedicated to being the main bread winner and supporter of our household.
The kids have LOVED every second I have been able to spend with them during this first year and I have learned so much from them.  I have been able to spend more time in school activities, take better care of our home and even our cats.  It has definitely been a VERY productive year in the home front.
Will I assume this role forever?... well.. I honestly couldn't answer that now... All I can say is that I have gained a great deal of admiration for all the moms that have made the sacrifice of putting their careers aside for the benefit of their families.. It is a HARD job, extremely demanding and not always rewarding, but it is definitely life changing and it has given me so much perspective in life....
Am I happy?  ABSOLUTELY! I believe God put me in this path for a reason and I am incredibly thankful for this amazing experience that I get to live... I love this life and wouldn't change it for anything... I have learned so much this year and I have enjoyed my family to the fullest...
As far as my plans go... I will continue to work from home at my current **part-time** job and will continue to strive to be a better wife and mom... I will continue to enjoy this life and face every challenge that is thrown at me, and I will always do so with a smile on my face! :)

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