Thursday, March 19, 2015

Forever my baby...

"I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be."

There's something about being a mother that changes us forever; we develop this crazy instinct  and instantly become eternal guardians of our children.  I always say that becoming a mother has proven to me that love really has no limit and that there isn't a thing I wouldn't do to protect my children.  I also say that before becoming a mother, I had no idea I had a sleeping bear inside me, which gets really angry if/when anybody dares to mess with my children's well being....

So many things go through my mind when my children are in pain, whether physical or emotional.  I hurt when they hurt, I cry when they cry...that's just the way it goes....and it happened tonight...
After I put the kids to bed I was trying to unwind in my room and in came Olivia crying hysterically...more like sobbing.. she could barely speak through her tears and I became increasingly anxious... As I kept asking her "what's is wrong?, why are you crying?, what happened to you?, did you have a nightmare?, are you feeling sick?" she finally mustered up the courage to tell me "I'M SCARED!" I said "scare of what?" and she proceeded to tell me how one of her "friends" (notice the quotation marks since I'm not sure what kind of "friend" finds scaring someone to be funny) had told her a story about "Bloody Mary" and how she was petrified to sleep alone.  Olivia was literally shaking and she kept telling me how she thought she couldn't fall asleep just thinking about these awful stories her "friend" had told her.  I was so mad! I couldn't find the right words to give her peace, I felt so angry that someone would mess with her confidence and that peace and glow she always carries.  Olivia has no malice; she's such a happy and innocent child and I just hate the idea that some silly child even tries to take that away from her and I also hate that for a minute I froze and instead of finding the right words to calm her down, I dwelled in that anger which shouldn't have been my first reaction.
After I processed my thoughts, I started telling Olivia how she is surrounded by angels and how Jesus and God are much stronger than anything and that all those stories are just crazy things people make up when they lack faith and peace.  We talked about how strong our faith is and how our family is always at peace because God is by our side. We cried, we hugged and she finally calmed down and went back to bed.  I stayed with her for a while and she seemed to be back to her normal self.
Still, this incident left me thinking about she will be my baby forever and how no matter how much she grows, I will always do my best to protect her and allow her to have that glow in her eyes that makes my heart glow.  Olivia, please know that there will never be a time that I won't try my hardest to make you smile and to help you understand that as long as I'm alive, no evil thought or power will get to you because I'm your mama, and that's what mamas do....love and protect until the last breath!
I love you so much...and you're forever my baby! 

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