Worried..

Today I'm really worried and for that I'm not having a good day!...

First off, Gaby was HORRIBLE last night, not only did she wake up about 3 times in a 10 hour period, but when she was sleeping she kept squirming around and making all sorts of noises.. I could barely sleep with so much noise around me... it was terrible!!!

Then, I woke up this morning to find about (via phone) that Iggy is terribly sick in Mexico... yes! in MEXICO... he has been away on a business trip since Wednesday... I spoke to him and he sounded really sick.. he said he had a high fever, pain all over and a bad stomach!... I spoke to one of his co-workers and he told me they might be taking him to the hospital because he does NOT look good... He also said that he might not be able to fly home tomorrow as scheduled!

Needless to say, besides being completely exhausted and sleepy, I am terribly worried about him... I wish I could be there to make him feel better or to at least know that he will be ok!

What a horrible day... well.. at least it's Friday!!!!

Prayers please!!!!

Breastfeeding guilt!

Gaby is almost 4 months and she is growing and thriving, however, for the past few days I have been feeling some regrets for giving up on breastfeeding so early..

I only breastfed her for 10 days, and even though I did have some issues (a kidney infection, low supply, latch issues, etc), I've been feeling guilty that I did not try hard enough or long enough to keep giving her my breast milk...

Granted I really dislike breastfeeding, but for some reason I feel like I should have done it for her!.. I feel like such a horrible mother for having deprived my baby of nature's best food!

Maybe that's why she got sick!??

I know so many mommies that stick to breastfeeding for so long and overcome so many obstacles in that journey... I should be one of those moms, and I'm not... it makes me sad!

I guess I will get to try again if we ever have another child... maybe then, these feelings of guilt will go away and I will accomplish a healthy breastfeeding relationship between my child and I...

I can only hope that will happen one day! ;)

Am I weird for feeling this guilt so late in the game?

Sleep issues!

That's right... the nightmare of sleepless nights is back!!! I can't believe we're having sleep issues again... Gaby had been doing so wonderfully for the past couple of months, and all of a sudden.. a HUGE regression!

She is not napping as much during the day, which should translate into more hours of sleep at night, right?? Nope.. WRONG!!!

After our bath, feeding, cuddling night routine, she goes down at about 10pm every night.. She falls asleep quite easily but then wakes up around 4am, either fussing, crying and sometimes even smiling! uggh!!! We feed her at that time (otherwise she won't stop crying) and it takes us up to an hour to get her back asleep... at this point we're both extremely exhausted, especially since we know our wake up time is right around the corner....it is so irritating...

I feel bad for Iggy, he tries to take on this task, but I know how exhausting it is for him....if we're lucky she will only wake up once a night, sometimes she wants to play at 2:30am also.. now THAT is bad!

I just hope this is just a stage, which can be attributed to her being a little sick lately.. otherwise, somebody please shoot me! who would think that such a sweet little baby could be so mean to mommy and daddy!?? ;)

Gaby's baptism invitation card

I love how the invite to Gaby's baptism came out... so sweet...
We will be baptizing our baby girl on November 28th and I couldn't be happier... I will be an exclusive family affair with both our families coming in from out of town. I can't wait to see them all again!! Here's the card!

Struggling with my self image

I don't know what's wrong with me lately, but I have been having such a struggle with my self image... I feel so fat, even though I have lost a few pounds and I'm starting to fit into some of my old clothes... I just feel like it's never enough..

Also... I used to feel comfortable with no make-up and lately I just feel so ugly without it...maybe I need a haircut or just a whole make over! who knows!

For the first time in a long time, Iggy actually said something about it... he told me "you gotta take care of yourself"... At first I thought it was really mean for him to say that, but then I realized that he tells me that because he loves me and he sees how unhappy I am with the way I look...

I don't know where this self image crisis is coming from, but it sure is making me feel like crap!

Wordless Monday...

Weight Loss Journal: Week 7

It's been 7 weeks since I started this journal, and although I have only lost 5lbs, I do feel that I'm on track for my goals!
This week's stats are as follows:
Workouts:
Wednesday: Walked 2 miles

Weight lost: 0 lbs
Current weight: 167lbs.