The end of a love affair...

I recently returned from a 4 day trip to one of my favorite cities in the world, San Francisco!

The first time I visited this famous West Coast city I was young and in love (I'm still in love but the young part is questionable...ha!) when we honeymooned there about 13 years ago! I fell in love with San Francisco instantly; the weather was perfect, the food was amazing, everyone was nice and kind and the city is as picturesque as they get.  Even after having traveled to over 30 countries and hundreds of cities, my traveling heart always belonged to San Francisco...there was just something about it that always captivated me...I was lucky enough to be able to return to this great city a few other times and even took the girls there in 2014 (they loved it too, of course!)

But this time was different... I didn't find San Francisco as fascinating as I did on previous visits.. I'd go as far as saying that I was disappointed.. it was the end of a love affair, one that I thought would last forever but sadly it didn't. 

I found the city to be filthy and decadent, riddled with thousands of homeless people, junkies and prostitutes; on the first day I had already lost count of how many people I saw shooting up or inhaling cocaine in broad daylight and when I attempted to take brisk walks around the city at nighttime (not even late night) it was all about street workers fighting over their "customers". The most concerning part was the apathy of everyone around...it's like nobody cares! Apparently the California government is more concerned about banning straws, recycling and charging for shopping bags than it is with cleaning up the streets and helping those in need.

Transit workers and even cops were rude to tourists and everyone seems more concerned with being "green" than being kind...It took me a while to figure out where to put my trash because there's a million recycling options at every corner but regular trash cans seemed to be non existent.  Public restrooms were basically unusable from how disgusting and dirty they all are and that's if I was lucky to find a restroom where I didn't have to pee next to a man because most restrooms were unisex because, you know, gender equality and who knows what else!

I also noticed so much hostility from the unspoken social war.. I seriously felt like I was in another country... and not a nice one!  

Everything was super expensive (and yes, I know California is more expensive by default but this was different!) and Californians didn't seem as receptive and embracing as I remembered them.

Of course I won't deny that the city is still as beautiful as ever and its colors and flavors have no comparison but somehow San Francisco dropped down on my list of favorites and I don't foresee that changing because that special charm I always found in it just wasn't there. I didn't feel safe walking around the streets of San Francisco, I didn't feel welcomed by its locals and I didn't feel like the city can embrace a conservative point of view like mine....it just wasn't the same for me!

We did get to visit Napa Valley for the first time and it was very beautiful.  Even with me not being a wine drinker I did enjoy the visit to one of the most famous wineries in the area and had an amazing time exploring and taking pictures...but Napa isn't San Francisco so....

I don't know when I will return to San Francisco or even if I ever will but I will forever cherish the nice memories I have of it and I feel blessed to have enjoyed it for as long as I did!

Technology and Sleep Quality

To follow up on the theme of my previous post, I have decided to write a little about the impact of technology on our sleep.
I am sure I don't stand alone when I say that many nights (if not every night) I spend a while playing with my phone until my eyes can no longer stay open; whether I'm reading something really important or just browsing around and catching up on the latest trending news, I waste way too much time (and sleep) on this pointless act.
I have seen many posts from friends regarding devices that aid in limiting internet time and setting parental controls (ie. Circle with Disney), which tells me that a lot of families struggle with technology restrictions and other issues related to the overuse of it as well.
I can't count the amount of nights the girls get in trouble for hiding under their sheets to play with their phones past bedtime or the many times I've had to confiscate every device so they can get some sleep...and no, they're not rebellious kids that don't listen to their mom, they are simply technology junkies just like many adults.  I know that using technology past bedtime is not the end of the world but I worry about how their sleep quality is negatively impacted by this behavior pattern.

A few nights ago I decided to turn off my phone at least  four hours before going to sleep; I basically forced myself to skip my nightly social media binge and just take time to relax and clear my mind. I leisurely browsed some unfinished books and even wrote some notes and to do lists for the next day. I also spent some time praying and reading my favorite devotional, so I basically did away with technology for a night...  I'm not exaggerating when I say that I hadn't slept that well in a long time; somehow avoiding my nightly phone use routine gave me the chance to experience the glorious sleep my body had been needing for a while... such a simple thing made such a great impact on my sleep.. I couldn't believe it..
But even with the positive experience, the conditioning that I have to use my phone before bed is really hard to beat so I was back at it the next night and I could feel it too... I really need to get better at this...
So because I love to read and find some creepy joy in researching things that come to my mind, I am going to share with you some incredibly information given to me by a representative from the "Sleep Institute" as well as "Tuck Sleep" that have helped me tremendously in understanding the importance of a good night's sleep and the negative impact of technology in our sleep quality.  I particularly enjoyed a publication titled "How Technology Impacts Your Sleep and What To Do About It" and another one titled "A Parent's Guide to Healthy Sleep"; in these two articles I have found a wealth of information that I know will help me get better at improving my sleep and our family's sleep patterns and overall rest quality, and I hope it helps you too.
I am tired of dealing with cranky kids on school mornings, I am done with sleeping 8+ hours and feelings like I haven't slept in ages; I know it's my fault so I want to do better...
How is your sleep quality? Do you think technology has an impact on our sleep patterns? Do your kids get enough sleep?

Internet Safety for Children

Even though I was never one of those parents who swore against propping their kids in front of a tv, I'm not a fan of excessive screen time either and while I try to be hopeful about my ability to limit screen time for my children, I am also realistic and know that screen time is going to happen no matter what and at some point my kids' eyes will be glued to a cell phone screen or an iPad (trust me...it happens to the best of us.. ha!) Of course I'd rather have my kids invest their time in something more productive but I myself spend a lot of time playing with my phone so who am I to forbid them from doing so?! Internet and screens are part of our times whether we like it or not. 

Like many parents I know, I have allowed my kids to have iPads and cell phones, all under strict supervision (of course), where I basically monitor their apps, downloads, conversations, video watching behavior and so on.  The girls have phones (with a line) and they have children accounts under my Apple ID so that every time they want to download a new app, it has to go through me first for approval.  I have also allowed them to have Instagram accounts with the condition that they are set to "private" and only I can approve or add followers. Even though so far our system has worked great, I always fear the unsurmountable amount of information that is at their fingertips because I am aware that as much as I try, I probably will never be able to filter every little thing on the internet. 

I am aware that not everyone is on board with giving their children a cell phone or even access to a computer or iPad, and that is totally ok, but since I do, I always have to be on top of internet security in order to protect my children to the best of my abilities.  On many occasions I have found the girls watching videos or reading things that I don't find appropriate for their age and many other times I have seen videos that are seemingly innocent when in reality they aren't... it's scary....very scary...(picture Barbies cursing, robotic cartoons using vulgar language, naked dolls, etc!)

So in my quest to find ways to protect my children from the undeniable dangers of the internet, I came across a great guide found on the VPN Mentor Blog. This is an incredibly comprehensive guide titled "The Ultimate Parent Guide for Protecting Your Child on the Internet"; it covers important topics such as mobile phones and apps, social media and cyberbullying among many others and I cannot recommend it enough.  I encourage every parent to read through this guide and document themselves on the importance of internet safety for children. 

Whether you decide to give your child a phone or whether or not you allow him/her access to the internet, I believe everyone should be aware of the dangers of the internet and be informed about what we can do as parents to protect our precious children. 

(Bonus pictures of my kids and their screens)

11

When asked if she likes to almost share a birthday with her sister, Olivia always says she feels torn about it; she insists that once her birthday rolls around, everyone is tired of birthday wishes and cakes. What Olivia doesn't know is that even if her sister's birthday comes the day before hers, she shines in such a way that not even an "almost shared" birthday can dim her brightness. I always joke and say she got the best birthday gift the day before she turned 2 years old, one that we will never be able to top because a sister is a friend forever and hers just happened to come a day before her birthday.. I'm not sure she buys the whole thing but I am certain she will always cherish the memories. 

Olivia is such a special little lady; she is caring, funny, outgoing and incredibly loving. She loves to sing, dance, act and draw... mmm..did anyone say artist? I see so much of me in her and I am always humbled by her grace and love for others. 

Olivia also loves to travel and her passion for learning about new cultures and places is one of the most fun parts about her personality because she is the best companion for new adventures. 

This year has been particularly trying for Olivia because she's growing up and realizing that there are many challenges to maturing both physically and emotionally; but even when the conversations are uncomfortable and the disappointments are plentiful, she manages to be resilient and come out stronger out of every situation.  

Olivia will soon be starting the 6th grade and even though she admittedly feels anxious about middle school, I am sure she will continue to do great in school and in anything she does. 

I feel overwhelmingly happy to have a daughter like Olivia and I pray to God she never changes. 

Dear Olivia: I hope you always stay true to yourself and always remember how loved you are by all of us and anyone who is blessed to know you!

Happy Birthday!

9

Our very festive month of July is going really well! Iggy had his birthday on the 5th and now it's the girls' turn to shine and get older!

Today is Gaby's 9th birthday...the last of the single digits...it's still hard to believe she is so "old" already but I'm really loving the ride..

I've said it before... Gaby is the most challenging one out of our three children because she is the sweet and sour one of the bunch and the most unpredictable and willful; sometimes I really think God sent her to me so I could get better at being patient and understanding because she definitely tests me every chance she gets...

The good news is that her sweetness is overtaking and Gaby is also the most in touch with everyone else's problems; she has a degree of compassion that it's hard to match and that makes me very proud. Gaby is very observant and is specially particular about details such as small Lego pieces, color schemes, timelines, etc.. it's kind of funny to see such a young child so concerned about the little things and even funnier when that same person can also be so spacey at times..

Gaby loves reading, swimming in the pool, eating sweets, traveling and spending time with her friends; she is overall a joy to be around and I feel so lucky to be her mother. 

Gaby will soon be starting the 4th grade and is so excited about what the new school year has in store for her; she loves Math and Science and is a very good and dedicated student. 

Dear Gaby: I hope your birthday is amazing and I hope you know how loved you are by all of us and everyone who is lucky to know you. 

Happy 9th birthday!

Movie Review: "Hotel Transylvania 3"

Every time there is a new installment of a successful movie franchise I get eager to watch it; I often wonder how they can top a good movie with an even better one and Hotel Transylvania did not disappoint.
This one is one of my favorite franchises because it gives such a great spin to the monster theme and makes all famous monsters very likable, I also love it because the story lines are so creative and despite it being a "monster" movie, it is quite colorful and cute.
This particular installment focuses on Count Dracula realizing that he's been single for way too long and him wanting to find a date. As he tries to hide his desire to date from his daughter Mavis, she decides to take him on a surprise cruise vacation with all of his friends, the usual suspects...
At first he thinks the whole cruise thing is dumb but when he unexpectedly "zings" with the beautiful captain, the whole experience becomes fun and enchanting.
A lot of funny things happen during this vacation and all the characters shine in their own way.  Count Dracula realizes that can love again and the whole gang teaches the villain about why good always prevails and how we're all similar despite our differences.  The movie ends with an epic DJ song battle and it has such a happy and wonderful ending.  I particularly enjoyed all the characters, the setting of the movie, the main plot and how it develops.  It is perfectly paced and simple enough for young kids to understand; it is also packed with light humor and colorful scenes; definitely a feel good family movie.
This one gets 4 out of 4 stars from me.  Totally recommended. 

The "end" is near!!!

**Disclaimer: this post is about my personal experience with breastfeeding and in no way is it meant to offend or diminish any mother who isn't able to or decides to forego breastfeeding. Please know that I respect ALL mothers and stand by the "fed is best" motto, however, I wanted to share my breastfeeding journey and document it for my children as I do many of our most remarkable experiences**

Getting pregnant with Oliver was one of the biggest surprises of my life; he came unannounced and completely unexpected but totally ready to rock our world! (I know I have said this a million times!)

With the unescapable fact that I'd be a mother of three also came great opportunities to do better than I had in the past and one of the challenges I set for myself was to breastfeed my child or at least try a little harder than I did with my first two daughters.

Breastfeeding was always a taboo subject for me; I either avoided it because I had failed in the past or simply became defensive (and sometimes offensive) because it made me uncomfortable.  I clearly remember this post I wrote more than 6 years ago when TIME magazine had a cover featuring a mom breastfeeding her 4 year old; for some reason the cover made really mad and I thought that mom was delirious for practicing "extended breastfeeding"...it's one of those times I said "I would NEVER do that!"...

During my pregnancy with Oliver I spent many hours reading and doing research about breastfeeding and overcoming the many hurdles that come with it; it was clear to me that while it wasn't impossible, succeeding was going to take a lot of dedication and discipline on my part so I decided to take it one day at a time. 

I made the decision of not being "too hard" on myself if it didn't go well but I was also set on not being "too easy" either because the accountability that was needed could only come from ME!

The first few weeks were as challenging as expected (or maybe even more!); bleeding and sore nipples, engorgement, leaking, boob pain.. you name it, I had it and it was very discouraging. Every possible doubt crossed my mind: "can I do this?", "is my baby eating enough?", "should I feed him formula instead?", "why do I put myself through this?"; those were just some of the questions I asked myself on a daily basis and I cannot tell you how many times I was so close to throwing in the towel...

But somehow every time I was ready to give up, I saw a glimmer of hope in the fact that Oliver seemed happy and thriving, and slowly but surely I was feeling more comfortable in my own skin and in my job as the sole provider of nutrition for my baby, it felt good!

After 3 months (my first mini goal) I was sure I had succeeded and expected nothing but smooth sailing; we had already found our rhythm and he was getting more than enough nutrition from me, I could read his signs and we found our favorite breastfeeding positions, even my wardrobe was breastfeeding friendly and I was so proud of myself for sticking to it. At this point I felt more than accomplished since I had already gotten way further than I ever imagined and had reached my personal goal.  I decided to keep going since it was really so easy and practical, and in the blink of an eye, I reached the 1 year mark! But then, right around that time, I got an evil mastitis case; it started with a mild fever and it escalated to huge lumps on my breasts and pieces of nasty clogged up milk that I had to painfully suction out of me.. it was terrible.. 

As I was convinced that mastitis was the end of my journey, my doctor suggested I kept going and even hinted at the fact that using Oliver for suction would make this nasty mastitis go away quicker.. and so I did...and it did! My mastitis cleared within a few days and we were back on the road!

During the next year, I breastfed Oliver at the oddest places and even got over my fear of "exposing" myself and showing too much skin in public. It was liberating to know that I could do this whenever, wherever, because feeding my baby was my number one priority and I didn't care about what anybody thought. I figured that's how so many breastfeeding advocates feel and exactly why so many moms feel so free when using their bodies for what they are intended. 

Once we reached the 2 year mark I started to get the "you're crazy" kind of comments; some people even suggested that I was "sick" for breastfeeding a "giant" and even mentioned that I was doing more harm than good for doing this. These comments came from the most loving and caring people and honestly I didn't take anything personal because I was once in that bunch; years ago I would have been the person to say that and I probably did without realizing how personal this decision is. 

In November of last year (Oliver was already 2 years and 2 months), I took a week long solo trip to Europe so I decided to take that opportunity to wean Oliver. Because I was still producing so much milk by then, I took a portable breast pump as a precaution (please note that up to this point, I had never pumped since Oliver always fed "straight from the source") to relieve some of the pain associated with weaning.  During my trip I "pumped and dumped" twice a day and Oliver did remarkably well while I was away.... I was done!

To my surprise my milk didn't dry up and as soon as I got back home Oliver demanded a feed and it was like I never went away; my body kept producing all the milk he needed and for some reason I was "ok" with the fact that the weaning wasn't happening as planned. 

So to make a long story short and spare you more details than what I've already given out, Oliver is 2 years and 9 months today and we are STILL breastfeeding; granted it's only once or maybe twice a day but I'm still baffled to have made it this far. Never in a million years did I imagine that I would achieve this incredibly goal and I am so proud for giving myself the chance to prove that I could do it; more importantly I am happy that my son got the best he could get from me. 

But as proud and happy as I am to have made it this far, I know the end is near and I am at the point where I really want it to end.  Nothing will ever erase the bond and love that breastfeeding gave us and I have a new level of admiration for all the mothers that overcome the hurdles and succeed at this difficult task. 

Breastfeeding Oliver for this long has been such a blessing for our family; I was able to provide my child with good nutrition and I was also able to teach my girls resilience and perseverance. I was able to prove myself that discipline goes a long way and most importantly I was able to tear down all the stigmas that I had created. I am sorry for the times I rolled my eyes at moms who breastfed in public and for the times that I felt uncomfortable or offended by the most natural of motherly acts. I thank everyone who supported me through this journey; all my breastfeeding advocate friends that taught me so much, my husband who pushed me when I was ready to give up, my daughters who learned that breastfeeding is normal and beautiful, my family who cheered me on even when they thought it was time to quit,  and my wonderful son who loved me even when I cried as my nipples bled during the first few weeks. 

And to any mother out there that wants to give breastfeeding a try, please know that it is HARD and it takes a lot of discipline and dedication but once you get the hang of it, it is among the MOST rewarding and beautiful things you could do for your child! Also know that choosing to breastfeed (for however long you wish) is an extremely personal decision and it should never be questioned by anyone. 

Happy Breastfeeding! #normalizebreastfeeding